Audge

Dear Audrey,

When a younger and less articulate Caitlin christened you Audge- it sort of stuck. It fits you. It is unique, and strong, and kind of like your title. Audge you are an entity, a force to be reckoned with. Well, you are me. A carbon copy. The looks, the stubborn streak, even down to the speech impediments. We but heads sometimes because we might be too much alike. But it sort of endears me to you as well.

On Wednesday you developed a stammer. My heart aches for you. I know how smart you are and how much you have to share. I want you to be able to share your smarts without judgement from your peers. I don't know if you have noticed the studder yet. I am trying to ignore it so you don't notice. But I worry ALL the time. I worry that it won't go away and it will cause others to tease you and it will turn into a major confidence issue down the line. I worry because my lisp was for me. I was teased and I spent a good deal of time (even now) figuring out ways around the letter "s". (I thought you were going to be a boy and wanted to name you Asher but knew I could not.) I have called doctors and left messages, read journals online and the read the dictionary to figure out what was read, and second guessed everything I have done lately.

Soon you will be three. I love you to pieces! I hope I have not ruined you,

Mom